My First Double Abecedarian or The Pattern is the Primary Point

Zucchini crossed with a pirate gets you a squashbuckler. Ha!
You've got to really pay attention here, are you listening, bub?
X may mark the spot, but the tables of contents are kept at tic toc.
Which do you choose? Pirate or Ninja? You'd better rock it and
videotape it. Somebody needs a laugh and that person is probably me.
Upload it to YouTube. Not everyone gets it, but that's okay. If
Tigger gets into a terrible tangle will he then zig instead of zag?
Someone, somewhere has written 25 things about it. When you sayeth
random things, you meant carefully contrived. Am I right or am I?
Quick! Play rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock with Sheldon and Raj.
Procrastination and Facebook go hand in hand, but poetry and Facebook
oil and water, competitive spirit, whimsy and ennui do not mix. Why will
no one join me in this clever nonsensical not-quite poetical game? Boredom,
my dear, apparently does know some bounds. Although John and John -
Linnell and Flansburgh - would go for this sort of thing. “Hello Radio”
“Kiss me, Son of God” I should have thought of TMBG titles at the top -
just my luck. I see the easy way out after I'm already mired in the quag. Q
is a bitch. I lied; it isn't really boredom or too much time on my computer or
hands. No, just bouts of too much brain followed by faulty autopilot's messes.
Gee, since no one asked, my best conversation ender is, “I just read the most
fascinating thing on rare lichens” on which I will probably write a series of haiku
even if no one reads it. I am nothing if not persistently inconsistent. Mazel tov,
Dear! You really hit the nail on the head, I'm still picking out splinters. How
come I googled it, but I still don't get it? Don't you dare put me in a box,
Baby! Unless there is a fully-stocked art deco bar along one side of the library,
and laptop with wifi so I can inhale some poetry/haiku/your comments for the buzz.



Gah! This thing always jacks up the formatting on my Abecedarians! >:-( (I had to make it smaller.)

p.s. I wrote this back in February. Did you get it? Alphabet runs up with first letter and down with last of each line. I came across the concept in Mike Dockins poem “Dead Critics Society”(in The Best American Poetry 2007.) (Who needs a theme when you have lots of random shoutouts?) For the record, it did occur to me to embed a haiku, but I had to write this relatively quickly, so I didn't. Hmmm, somehow I don't quite see this being the next gigantic Facebook craze...

zeugma – a figure of speech in which a verb or adjective is applied jointly to two nouns although logically appropriate to only one; e.g., We changed our minds and our clothes. (Hadn't heard of that until I was wandering around in Z for this, so I threw one in - in the “i......r” line.)