Tonight was good.
Usually a client talks to me at some point during a project. We make smalltalk on the porch or in the hall until one of us gets called away. Projects usually wind up being spaced so that I don't see that person again. I always wonder about them, hoping they got well enough to go home.
I've been down there three times in the last month or so, so the current faces are familiar. :-) Tonight was the Christmas party and the clients got presents from a Santa that reminded me more of Ira Glass than Santa, despite the suit, but it was fun. There was a lot of food, particularly desserts. I was talking to a lady who wouldn't let her husband wear his 'corny' reindeer tie, yet she had on a aqua vest with a giant white fuzzy collar and the whole thing was covered with several large snowmen with button eyes. hee hee
Anyway, she complimented my pumpkin bundt cake. I said, "Oh, was it good?" She looked confused and asked, "You didn't eat your own cake?" I said, "No, I ate it. It seemed good, but I wasn't sure how good." She looked more confused. I then explained about the driving from Indy to NYC for cheesecake trip. I didn't even get to the nighttrain to Prague for a particular cup of coffee story. Yes, the cake seemed good, but I didn't know that I would drive out of state for a piece of it. My concept of what a good dessert is...is, well, perhaps slightly skewed from everyone else's. hee hee Maybe you can see why my husband tells me not to be difficult when people want a simple answer like "Thank you. I'm glad you like it."
In addition to clients, staff, and volunteers, a few former clients came to the party tonight. I remembered one and after a little while he remembered talking to me. It was last April. I was taking a break from helping hang the gutter and we chatted for quite a while on the porch. He's doing a lot better. It's taking time, but he's getting back on his feet. I really appreciated being able to hear that. It was good to see him. To know good news for sure about at least one person. I needed that. Tonight was a good night.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Because we are eight years old
We are hitting each other
on the road to Fort Stockton
- an hour into the all day drive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I open the map
it rips, loudly
and he gasps, loudly
like his mother.
I am cackling, but
he doesn't like to be hilarious.
He reaches out to tickle me, but
it is more of a clawing rib separator.
It hurts, and so
I punch him in the arm.
He punches back, hard.
I punch him twice.
There is a loud protesting truce.
"You hit me!" I say.
"You hit me twice!"he says.
I explain my math.
I hit you twice because you
hit much harder than I do.
He tells me "You hit a lot
harder than you think."
Later, I'll offer to strangle him
with my peace necklace.
Because we are eight years old
We are hitting each other
on the road to Fort Stockton
- an hour into the all day drive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I open the map
it rips, loudly
and he gasps, loudly
like his mother.
I am cackling, but
he doesn't like to be hilarious.
He reaches out to tickle me, but
it is more of a clawing rib separator.
It hurts, and so
I punch him in the arm.
He punches back, hard.
I punch him twice.
There is a loud protesting truce.
"You hit me!" I say.
"You hit me twice!"he says.
I explain my math.
I hit you twice because you
hit much harder than I do.
He tells me "You hit a lot
harder than you think."
Later, I'll offer to strangle him
with my peace necklace.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
My Finished and Almost Finished Scarves
I buy my sweaters at a local charity shop and then wash them on hot a couple of times. This felts the wool. Read: shrinks it all to hell. Seriously, some won't even fit a toddler afterward! :-/ Then the wool can be cut without unraveling.
This is the first one I made. It features Eileen's ClassicWonkyHandstitching throughout. Some of that was done at the Women's Retreat, so those parts are EXTRA wonky. :-)
In case you missed the twitpic, this scarf starred in....
"Hi-yah! Beware the elusive yet dangerously hilarious and smartassical ScarfNinja! :-D"
I had to cut the first three scarves with the ill-suited black handled scissors in the photo. I pretty much eye-balled it, so these scarves are extra "charming". :-) After some whining on Facebook, my friend from church graciously loaned me her rotary cutter and mat. :-) I also managed to get my recalcitrant sewing machine to work, so that made the sewing go MUCH faster! Yay! Now there's only a little handstitching on each one.
By the way, I used two skirts to make these twins.
I made this scarf for my church's fall auction. There was a bidding war. Yay! :-)
Almost done with a little final handstitching on this one.
Cut out and ready to sew. Unless I change my mind again. Again.And oh, by the way, I'm not a formatting idiot, it's Blogspot. No, really! ;-) Anyway, I tried. :-)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Because I Can't Leave Bad Enough Alone -OR- Sparkling Coffee
At some point I had wondered about coffee + sparkling water, but like many things that occur to me, I never bothered to try it because I figured it would turn out poorly and also because I probably got distracted immediately after thinking it. A few weeks ago someone mentioned he'd tried coffee with seltzer and it was gross. Which brought it back to mind. So tonight, something --apparently a desire for yet one more sleepless night-- possessed me to try it out. For some reason, I had Pellegrino cold in the fridge, (although it was getting a little flat), so I poured some into a glass and added some Monin caramel syrup. Once I got that ratio right by tasting, I added some cold coffee. Mmmm. Drinkable!
A few minutes later, the kids and I headed out for a walk in the cool (for September in Texas) just before dusk, wet, soft breeze. We ran into my son's best friend who joined us on our walk which turned into the 7 year old boys and my 3 year old girl lining up at the start of each driveway, waiting for my signal and then racing to the start of the next driveway. I made this game up 1. To prevent them from getting smooshed 2. To trick them into listening to me/work on their following directions and 3. Hopefully wear them the hell out.
UP and DOWN the street, UP and DOWN the street. The friend's little sister on her pink almost-a-big-wheel deathcycle joined us partway through. She likes to brake after the last possible moment and and a few inches past where you are standing. After she has just driven through you. Well, the boys. I was smart enough to stay out of her path of destruction!
Then finally we came back inside and out the back door for watermelon slices on the patio. Mostly because I like to clean up messes after a long drawn out snack time. ;-) But it was gorgeous out and little monkeys need to get all sticky, so fine. They *finally* finished and I threw them upstairs and into the shower and...I was alone in the kitchen. My thoughts again turned to coffee. Perhaps a fear that I still might manage to somehow sleep and have a productive Tuesday coupled with knowing that the caramel syrup was cheating, since my friend would *never* sweeten his coffee...I opted for another creation...taking advantage of the fine print governing this drinkmaking. Although sweetening is a no-no, surely the addition of alcohol is *always* favorable. Surely if said alchohol happens to be a LITTLE sweet, that can be overlooked.
So, more Pellegrino, not quite the rest of the pot of coffee and the end of the creme de cacao bottle...which was mostly empty. No, really! Let's see, a little experimentiation in the kitchen....counts as science somewhere, right? Plus a little cleaning out of the liquor shelf of the pantry...Look, I decluttered! I organized! Oh, and a fairly tasty drink. ;-) And hopefully I'll be just wired enough to finish this volunteer thing I've been putting off and still manage to sleep some.
Note: Yeah, that was wishful thinking. It's almost 1 a.m. and I still haven't sent that e-mail. Oh well, tomorrow it is! I'll just make *extra* coffee. :-D
A few minutes later, the kids and I headed out for a walk in the cool (for September in Texas) just before dusk, wet, soft breeze. We ran into my son's best friend who joined us on our walk which turned into the 7 year old boys and my 3 year old girl lining up at the start of each driveway, waiting for my signal and then racing to the start of the next driveway. I made this game up 1. To prevent them from getting smooshed 2. To trick them into listening to me/work on their following directions and 3. Hopefully wear them the hell out.
UP and DOWN the street, UP and DOWN the street. The friend's little sister on her pink almost-a-big-wheel deathcycle joined us partway through. She likes to brake after the last possible moment and and a few inches past where you are standing. After she has just driven through you. Well, the boys. I was smart enough to stay out of her path of destruction!
Then finally we came back inside and out the back door for watermelon slices on the patio. Mostly because I like to clean up messes after a long drawn out snack time. ;-) But it was gorgeous out and little monkeys need to get all sticky, so fine. They *finally* finished and I threw them upstairs and into the shower and...I was alone in the kitchen. My thoughts again turned to coffee. Perhaps a fear that I still might manage to somehow sleep and have a productive Tuesday coupled with knowing that the caramel syrup was cheating, since my friend would *never* sweeten his coffee...I opted for another creation...taking advantage of the fine print governing this drinkmaking. Although sweetening is a no-no, surely the addition of alcohol is *always* favorable. Surely if said alchohol happens to be a LITTLE sweet, that can be overlooked.
So, more Pellegrino, not quite the rest of the pot of coffee and the end of the creme de cacao bottle...which was mostly empty. No, really! Let's see, a little experimentiation in the kitchen....counts as science somewhere, right? Plus a little cleaning out of the liquor shelf of the pantry...Look, I decluttered! I organized! Oh, and a fairly tasty drink. ;-) And hopefully I'll be just wired enough to finish this volunteer thing I've been putting off and still manage to sleep some.
Note: Yeah, that was wishful thinking. It's almost 1 a.m. and I still haven't sent that e-mail. Oh well, tomorrow it is! I'll just make *extra* coffee. :-D
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
South to the Cottage
South to the Cottage
Only sounds like vacation
Sunbathe on the deck
Lie in bed all day
No one sends post cards
Wish you were still here
Whenever my Facebook status is "Eileen is headed to the cottage", my friends leave comments along the lines of "Have fun!" and "Enjoy your vacation!" Which I find funny in a not funny way. The Cottage provides hospice and respite care to residents with HIV. I volunteer there whenever they have a project. I've also been known to create my own projects. So, while we sometimes have fun, and I unequivovally want to be there, one would never confuse it for a second with vacation.
So anyway, my brain mulled the comments over for a while and came up with the above lines in early March. Oh, I was also on a haiku kick for quite a while which devolved into messing around with particular syllable counts and sometimes somewhat stand alone phrases for each line.
Only sounds like vacation
Sunbathe on the deck
Lie in bed all day
No one sends post cards
Wish you were still here
Whenever my Facebook status is "Eileen is headed to the cottage", my friends leave comments along the lines of "Have fun!" and "Enjoy your vacation!" Which I find funny in a not funny way. The Cottage provides hospice and respite care to residents with HIV. I volunteer there whenever they have a project. I've also been known to create my own projects. So, while we sometimes have fun, and I unequivovally want to be there, one would never confuse it for a second with vacation.
So anyway, my brain mulled the comments over for a while and came up with the above lines in early March. Oh, I was also on a haiku kick for quite a while which devolved into messing around with particular syllable counts and sometimes somewhat stand alone phrases for each line.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Dragonfly
There is a swarm of dragonflies
darting across our backyard
and the neighbor's.
The swarm is entertaining, but I am
watching one. Rather, I am trying to
watch one, but it keeps disappearing.
Here then gone. Here then gone.
Hiding. No, that's not it. It is
merely in and out of my sight.
The dragonfly -oblivious to me -is going
about its business, darting where it may.
There just happens to be a fence.
I am irrelevant.
This is not hide and seek.
It's not like we're friends.
darting across our backyard
and the neighbor's.
The swarm is entertaining, but I am
watching one. Rather, I am trying to
watch one, but it keeps disappearing.
Here then gone. Here then gone.
Hiding. No, that's not it. It is
merely in and out of my sight.
The dragonfly -oblivious to me -is going
about its business, darting where it may.
There just happens to be a fence.
I am irrelevant.
This is not hide and seek.
It's not like we're friends.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Making Mario Mushrooms or I Remember When This Seemed Like a Good Idea...
A while back someone mentioned making Mario mushrooms. So, I, of course...
1. "Huh?"
2. Googled
3. "OMG, they're adorable!"
2. Googled
3. "OMG, they're adorable!"
I should really stop googling. Or learn some restraint. (I'm not posting the original photo because of copyright. Read: "Mine will look even more pathetic in comparison!")
So, three grocery stores and a few days later, I brought home the least sketchy bunch of the lot. This is the "Before" twitpic. I included the five intact fingers as a joke.
These radishes wanted to be mice. Note their shape and built-in tails. Too bad, little radishes. I have other plans for you Mwahahaha!!!! I removed the turning-slimy greens and stuck the poor little things in the fridge to begin their long, cold, neglected death. My husband put them in water after a few days. Several days later, with a blueberry pie inexplicably in the oven, and the kitchen mostly cleaned up again again, I thought of the poor drowned radishes and thought why not half-ass one more project tonight?
So, the not quite right shape, shriveling, turning clear radishes came out of the fridge and a not-quite-right-for-the-job paring knife came out of the knife block. Btw, you should be as distracted as possible when you do this. If you don't have small children to aid in the task, perhaps you have a pet that can climb all over you and preferably bite you at inconvenient moments. In between checking the pie 54 times, negotiating and doling out bedtime snacks and 23 other even less exciting things, I whittled away at the radishes. And, lo and behold...a fairy ring appeared!
I like crafty little projects. Especially with food. Especiallier when I ought to be doing something else. Especialliest if someone else will be amused. Oh well, two out of three ain't so bad. I guess.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Details and Glaring Omissions Regarding My Upcoming "Cocktails with a Literary Twist"
I know this clearly needs some work, so please let me know what you think!! :-D
WARNING: If you are purist when it comes to cocktail parties, literature or food, this will probably give you seizures. You have been warned.
So here's the deal, 5 of us at church auctioned off this Cocktails with a Literary Twist party. I'd say we mostly tend toward being creative and overachievers. We all have little kids. Put all of that together and this is pretty much shaping up to be a Trainwreck's trainwreck. (But in that fun-happy-yummy kind of laugh-about-it-later way.) ;-)
Cocktails
Champagne cocktails (probably with Chambord) as guests arrive, but not sure yet.
Hemingway’s Daquiris
Cherry martinis (more on this later)
I need to figure out some more drink options!!! Our pooled liquor cabinets include tequila, dark rum, spiced rum, cointreau, anisette, dry vermouth, maraschino, Bacardi white rum, creme de cacao (white), Chambord, kirschwasser and bourbon. I know we need to get vodka and champagne for sure. The cherry part of the cherry drink is coming from cherry syrup. (It's made out of cherries & cane sugar and comes in a big glass bottle like Monin coffee syrups.)
Punny Food (Yeah, maybe we should have been a little *less* clever with some of these)
Valley of the Balls (Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann) – goat cheese with honey cheese ball, some sort of cheddar-based cheese ball, and Moroccan meat balls
Cracker in the Rye (Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger) -
Tortilla Flat (John Steinbeck) – (Some kind of quesadillas featuring some of the 20 pounds of cheese in my fridge. Ha, I should throw in some of the drawers full of onions too!)
A Small Good Thing (Raymond Carver) – bacon-wrapped something
Grapes of Wreath (Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck) – a wreath of grapes
Clockwork Orange (by Anthony Burgess) - Pretty much a clock of orange segments, don't know what she's going to make the hands out of.
We were thinking Vegetable Farm (Animal Farm by George Orwell), but yeah, I don't know how that's going to work out. Suggestions appreciated!!!
Heart of Darkness (by Joseph Conrad) - I originally wanted to do "Tart of Darkness", but that'd be a bitch to make (for me this week) and it's just wrong for a cocktail party. So, now I'm thinking brownie-type-thingie in a heart-shaped pan.
And then to go with this Akhamatova poem ...
He loved three things in life:
singing at vespers, white peacocks,
and worn-out maps of America.
He did not love tea with raspberries,
or feminine hysteria....
and I was his wife.
...we'll have tea with raspberry preserves, and I'm thinking I'll make some Russian Black Bread. I was hoping to do more, but it looks like this will be it. Oh, and there's kind of a line missing in this translation. See, I wasn't lying about the warning up top. ;-)
Oh, and I've been trying to come up with a Cherry Martini to go with A. E. Housman and Dorothy Parker.
Loveliest of trees, the cherry now... by A. E. Housman (1859-1936)
Loveliest of trees, the cherry now
Is hung with bloom along the bough,
And stands about the woodland ride
Wearing white for Eastertide.
Now, of my threescore years and ten,
Twenty will not come again,
And take from seventy springs a score,
It only leaves me fifty more.
And since to look at things in bloom
Fifty springs are little room,
About the woodlands I will go
To see the cherry hung with snow.
Cherry White by Dorothy Parker
I never see that prettiest thing-
A cherry bough gone white with Spring-
But what I think, "How gay 'twould be
To hang me from a flowering tree."
WARNING: If you are purist when it comes to cocktail parties, literature or food, this will probably give you seizures. You have been warned.
So here's the deal, 5 of us at church auctioned off this Cocktails with a Literary Twist party. I'd say we mostly tend toward being creative and overachievers. We all have little kids. Put all of that together and this is pretty much shaping up to be a Trainwreck's trainwreck. (But in that fun-happy-yummy kind of laugh-about-it-later way.) ;-)
Cocktails
Champagne cocktails (probably with Chambord) as guests arrive, but not sure yet.
Hemingway’s Daquiris
Cherry martinis (more on this later)
I need to figure out some more drink options!!! Our pooled liquor cabinets include tequila, dark rum, spiced rum, cointreau, anisette, dry vermouth, maraschino, Bacardi white rum, creme de cacao (white), Chambord, kirschwasser and bourbon. I know we need to get vodka and champagne for sure. The cherry part of the cherry drink is coming from cherry syrup. (It's made out of cherries & cane sugar and comes in a big glass bottle like Monin coffee syrups.)
Punny Food (Yeah, maybe we should have been a little *less* clever with some of these)
Valley of the Balls (Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann) – goat cheese with honey cheese ball, some sort of cheddar-based cheese ball, and Moroccan meat balls
Cracker in the Rye (Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger) -
Tortilla Flat (John Steinbeck) – (Some kind of quesadillas featuring some of the 20 pounds of cheese in my fridge. Ha, I should throw in some of the drawers full of onions too!)
A Small Good Thing (Raymond Carver) – bacon-wrapped something
Grapes of Wreath (Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck) – a wreath of grapes
Clockwork Orange (by Anthony Burgess) - Pretty much a clock of orange segments, don't know what she's going to make the hands out of.
We were thinking Vegetable Farm (Animal Farm by George Orwell), but yeah, I don't know how that's going to work out. Suggestions appreciated!!!
Heart of Darkness (by Joseph Conrad) - I originally wanted to do "Tart of Darkness", but that'd be a bitch to make (for me this week) and it's just wrong for a cocktail party. So, now I'm thinking brownie-type-thingie in a heart-shaped pan.
And then to go with this Akhamatova poem ...
He loved three things in life:
singing at vespers, white peacocks,
and worn-out maps of America.
He did not love tea with raspberries,
or feminine hysteria....
and I was his wife.
...we'll have tea with raspberry preserves, and I'm thinking I'll make some Russian Black Bread. I was hoping to do more, but it looks like this will be it. Oh, and there's kind of a line missing in this translation. See, I wasn't lying about the warning up top. ;-)
Oh, and I've been trying to come up with a Cherry Martini to go with A. E. Housman and Dorothy Parker.
Loveliest of trees, the cherry now... by A. E. Housman (1859-1936)
Loveliest of trees, the cherry now
Is hung with bloom along the bough,
And stands about the woodland ride
Wearing white for Eastertide.
Now, of my threescore years and ten,
Twenty will not come again,
And take from seventy springs a score,
It only leaves me fifty more.
And since to look at things in bloom
Fifty springs are little room,
About the woodlands I will go
To see the cherry hung with snow.
Cherry White by Dorothy Parker
I never see that prettiest thing-
A cherry bough gone white with Spring-
But what I think, "How gay 'twould be
To hang me from a flowering tree."
Friday, July 31, 2009
Unofficial Robert Day Song
Fwiw, this started to the tune of O'Tannenbaum, but devolved from there.
Unofficial Robert Day Song
Oh, Robert Day! Oh, Robert Day!
Oh, Let Us Count the Ways that We Love Robert Day!
He twitpics his kitty cats.
We get to wear our fancy hats.
He loves cartoons and a good storm.
He really hates the peacock swarm.
Oh, Robert Day! Oh, Robert Day!
Oh, Let Us Count the Ways that We Love Robert Day!
1, 2, 3, 4...infinity!
Let's celebrate with the Robert Day trinity!
Jager, vodka, and rum will do,
But you can throw in a 40 or 2.
He loves zombies, even the uppity.
@eddus would make him a cuppa tea.
Disney is the place to be,
But it's better in 3-D.
Oh, Robert Day! Oh, Robert Day!
You Must Swing The BanHammer™ on Robert Day!
Innuendo is all that you can say,
Cause that's the rule on Robert Day!
Oh rum, rum, rum, rum, rum, hey!
Let's drink some rum for Robert Day!
He'll tell you how to grow veggies and fruit,
And then how to pick, pickle or drink them to boot.
He'll tell you how to cook Devil Ducky and your eggs,
And in PS, fix your .jpgs.
O'HelperBot! O'HelperBot!
You always help us out a lot.
We're all broke and too far away
To properly celebrate this Robert Day.
But we can joke and drink to you,
And send an Lolcat or two.
It's the Least I Could Do
To sing this Robert Day song to you.
Oh Robert Day! Oh Robert Day!
Oh Let Us Count the Ways that We Love Robert Day!
Afternoons with lostinmiami going through Rayne.
A little sociopath to make us smile again.
FriendLEE banter or DrunkenLEE song.
All your Robert are to us belong.
Oh, Robert Day! Oh, Robert Day!
We sing Our Praises Be to Robert Day!
Unofficial Robert Day Song
Oh, Robert Day! Oh, Robert Day!
Oh, Let Us Count the Ways that We Love Robert Day!
He twitpics his kitty cats.
We get to wear our fancy hats.
He loves cartoons and a good storm.
He really hates the peacock swarm.
Oh, Robert Day! Oh, Robert Day!
Oh, Let Us Count the Ways that We Love Robert Day!
1, 2, 3, 4...infinity!
Let's celebrate with the Robert Day trinity!
Jager, vodka, and rum will do,
But you can throw in a 40 or 2.
He loves zombies, even the uppity.
@eddus would make him a cuppa tea.
Disney is the place to be,
But it's better in 3-D.
Oh, Robert Day! Oh, Robert Day!
You Must Swing The BanHammer™ on Robert Day!
Innuendo is all that you can say,
Cause that's the rule on Robert Day!
Oh rum, rum, rum, rum, rum, hey!
Let's drink some rum for Robert Day!
He'll tell you how to grow veggies and fruit,
And then how to pick, pickle or drink them to boot.
He'll tell you how to cook Devil Ducky and your eggs,
And in PS, fix your .jpgs.
O'HelperBot! O'HelperBot!
You always help us out a lot.
We're all broke and too far away
To properly celebrate this Robert Day.
But we can joke and drink to you,
And send an Lolcat or two.
It's the Least I Could Do
To sing this Robert Day song to you.
Oh Robert Day! Oh Robert Day!
Oh Let Us Count the Ways that We Love Robert Day!
Afternoons with lostinmiami going through Rayne.
A little sociopath to make us smile again.
FriendLEE banter or DrunkenLEE song.
All your Robert are to us belong.
Oh, Robert Day! Oh, Robert Day!
We sing Our Praises Be to Robert Day!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Tokens
So we're out in front of our house tonight. It's cool, considering it's late July in Texas. An older couple stops to talk to us and in the course of our conversation, the guy informs us, "We call you the tokens. Ha! Ha! We see you out and say "There are the tokens."
As in token white people. I find this to be pretty amusing. What else can you do?
We live on a kind-of-cul-de-sac and on nice nights there are usually more than 20 kids playing in front of our house. And the guy's right, my two little translucent monkeys are usually the only translucent monkeys, which is quite fine.
Then the wife says, "Wait, you're from Canada, right?" and I say, "No, those are the other white people," and point to my left, "They live at the other end of the street."
I'd say our neighborhood is a really nice mix of people from all over, particularly considering we're in the suburbs. In Texas. There are a lot of Malayalam families here and I know the kids and I are a source of amusement at parties. People always say, "Here, Eileen. Eat this!" and then watch me. I don't know if they're waiting for me to do something funny or what. The kids and I love Indian food and we're always happy to try all kinds of food. I do know to ask how hot the condiments are though. When my daughter was 2ish and we were at a party, she thought it was a blast to eat rice dishes with her hands just like all of the other ladies. We're lucky to live here. :-)
Oh, but this isn't the first time I'm the token. Where I volunteer, it's always kind of a joke that I'm the token straight person at any given project. So I guess I've arrived. Particularly for Texas. When do I get my t-shirt? Token Straight White Girl. Don't hold it against me. :-D
As in token white people. I find this to be pretty amusing. What else can you do?
We live on a kind-of-cul-de-sac and on nice nights there are usually more than 20 kids playing in front of our house. And the guy's right, my two little translucent monkeys are usually the only translucent monkeys, which is quite fine.
Then the wife says, "Wait, you're from Canada, right?" and I say, "No, those are the other white people," and point to my left, "They live at the other end of the street."
I'd say our neighborhood is a really nice mix of people from all over, particularly considering we're in the suburbs. In Texas. There are a lot of Malayalam families here and I know the kids and I are a source of amusement at parties. People always say, "Here, Eileen. Eat this!" and then watch me. I don't know if they're waiting for me to do something funny or what. The kids and I love Indian food and we're always happy to try all kinds of food. I do know to ask how hot the condiments are though. When my daughter was 2ish and we were at a party, she thought it was a blast to eat rice dishes with her hands just like all of the other ladies. We're lucky to live here. :-)
Oh, but this isn't the first time I'm the token. Where I volunteer, it's always kind of a joke that I'm the token straight person at any given project. So I guess I've arrived. Particularly for Texas. When do I get my t-shirt? Token Straight White Girl. Don't hold it against me. :-D
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Something crafted, to feed your soul
Most days you go without.
You can't find it
or you don't have the money
or you know where it is,
but it is beyond your reach.
But you know it's there. Somewhere.
Some days you can feel it, can almost taste it.
Others, it's just a name, a concept
of warm, distant perfection.
But some days you want
-not the thing that feeds your soul, well,
you always want the thing that feeds your soul-
but you want something.
Some. Thing.
Some days you want.
Even if it isn't good for you.
Even if it isn't what you want.
You want.
You want something warm and smooth,
that peculiar tasteless taste,
the look that catches your eye.
And so you give in,
To what you can have.
Instead of what you truly want.
What you know you need.
Until you have had enough
or maybe too much.
Not so much satisfied
as a completed transaction.
Even if it leaves you feeling unsatisfied
and just a little sick.
You want Cowgirl Creamery's Red Hawk,
a real baguette, and decent wine.
You have Velveeta and the remains
of a three dollar bottle of white Shiraz.
This was posted for the first virtual tweetup of #owmykidneys. You know, that fabulous salon on Twitter founded by @leewaters.
Most days you go without.
You can't find it
or you don't have the money
or you know where it is,
but it is beyond your reach.
But you know it's there. Somewhere.
Some days you can feel it, can almost taste it.
Others, it's just a name, a concept
of warm, distant perfection.
But some days you want
-not the thing that feeds your soul, well,
you always want the thing that feeds your soul-
but you want something.
Some. Thing.
Some days you want.
Even if it isn't good for you.
Even if it isn't what you want.
You want.
You want something warm and smooth,
that peculiar tasteless taste,
the look that catches your eye.
And so you give in,
To what you can have.
Instead of what you truly want.
What you know you need.
Until you have had enough
or maybe too much.
Not so much satisfied
as a completed transaction.
Even if it leaves you feeling unsatisfied
and just a little sick.
You want Cowgirl Creamery's Red Hawk,
a real baguette, and decent wine.
You have Velveeta and the remains
of a three dollar bottle of white Shiraz.
This was posted for the first virtual tweetup of #owmykidneys. You know, that fabulous salon on Twitter founded by @leewaters.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
My First Double Abecedarian or The Pattern is the Primary Point
Zucchini crossed with a pirate gets you a squashbuckler. Ha!
You've got to really pay attention here, are you listening, bub?
X may mark the spot, but the tables of contents are kept at tic toc.
Which do you choose? Pirate or Ninja? You'd better rock it and
videotape it. Somebody needs a laugh and that person is probably me.
Upload it to YouTube. Not everyone gets it, but that's okay. If
Tigger gets into a terrible tangle will he then zig instead of zag?
Someone, somewhere has written 25 things about it. When you sayeth
random things, you meant carefully contrived. Am I right or am I?
Quick! Play rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock with Sheldon and Raj.
Procrastination and Facebook go hand in hand, but poetry and Facebook
oil and water, competitive spirit, whimsy and ennui do not mix. Why will
no one join me in this clever nonsensical not-quite poetical game? Boredom,
my dear, apparently does know some bounds. Although John and John -
Linnell and Flansburgh - would go for this sort of thing. “Hello Radio”
“Kiss me, Son of God” I should have thought of TMBG titles at the top -
just my luck. I see the easy way out after I'm already mired in the quag. Q
is a bitch. I lied; it isn't really boredom or too much time on my computer or
hands. No, just bouts of too much brain followed by faulty autopilot's messes.
Gee, since no one asked, my best conversation ender is, “I just read the most
fascinating thing on rare lichens” on which I will probably write a series of haiku
even if no one reads it. I am nothing if not persistently inconsistent. Mazel tov,
Dear! You really hit the nail on the head, I'm still picking out splinters. How
come I googled it, but I still don't get it? Don't you dare put me in a box,
Baby! Unless there is a fully-stocked art deco bar along one side of the library,
and laptop with wifi so I can inhale some poetry/haiku/your comments for the buzz.
Gah! This thing always jacks up the formatting on my Abecedarians! >:-( (I had to make it smaller.)
p.s. I wrote this back in February. Did you get it? Alphabet runs up with first letter and down with last of each line. I came across the concept in Mike Dockins poem “Dead Critics Society”(in The Best American Poetry 2007.) (Who needs a theme when you have lots of random shoutouts?) For the record, it did occur to me to embed a haiku, but I had to write this relatively quickly, so I didn't. Hmmm, somehow I don't quite see this being the next gigantic Facebook craze...
zeugma – a figure of speech in which a verb or adjective is applied jointly to two nouns although logically appropriate to only one; e.g., We changed our minds and our clothes. (Hadn't heard of that until I was wandering around in Z for this, so I threw one in - in the “i......r” line.)
You've got to really pay attention here, are you listening, bub?
X may mark the spot, but the tables of contents are kept at tic toc.
Which do you choose? Pirate or Ninja? You'd better rock it and
videotape it. Somebody needs a laugh and that person is probably me.
Upload it to YouTube. Not everyone gets it, but that's okay. If
Tigger gets into a terrible tangle will he then zig instead of zag?
Someone, somewhere has written 25 things about it. When you sayeth
random things, you meant carefully contrived. Am I right or am I?
Quick! Play rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock with Sheldon and Raj.
Procrastination and Facebook go hand in hand, but poetry and Facebook
oil and water, competitive spirit, whimsy and ennui do not mix. Why will
no one join me in this clever nonsensical not-quite poetical game? Boredom,
my dear, apparently does know some bounds. Although John and John -
Linnell and Flansburgh - would go for this sort of thing. “Hello Radio”
“Kiss me, Son of God” I should have thought of TMBG titles at the top -
just my luck. I see the easy way out after I'm already mired in the quag. Q
is a bitch. I lied; it isn't really boredom or too much time on my computer or
hands. No, just bouts of too much brain followed by faulty autopilot's messes.
Gee, since no one asked, my best conversation ender is, “I just read the most
fascinating thing on rare lichens” on which I will probably write a series of haiku
even if no one reads it. I am nothing if not persistently inconsistent. Mazel tov,
Dear! You really hit the nail on the head, I'm still picking out splinters. How
come I googled it, but I still don't get it? Don't you dare put me in a box,
Baby! Unless there is a fully-stocked art deco bar along one side of the library,
and laptop with wifi so I can inhale some poetry/haiku/your comments for the buzz.
Gah! This thing always jacks up the formatting on my Abecedarians! >:-( (I had to make it smaller.)
p.s. I wrote this back in February. Did you get it? Alphabet runs up with first letter and down with last of each line. I came across the concept in Mike Dockins poem “Dead Critics Society”(in The Best American Poetry 2007.) (Who needs a theme when you have lots of random shoutouts?) For the record, it did occur to me to embed a haiku, but I had to write this relatively quickly, so I didn't. Hmmm, somehow I don't quite see this being the next gigantic Facebook craze...
zeugma – a figure of speech in which a verb or adjective is applied jointly to two nouns although logically appropriate to only one; e.g., We changed our minds and our clothes. (Hadn't heard of that until I was wandering around in Z for this, so I threw one in - in the “i......r” line.)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
What Keeps My Head from Exploding -OR- My Week in Perverse Joy
So anyway, our neighborhood is pretty diverse. (OK, diverse for a Texas suburb.) Our neighbors insisted on taking us (my parents are visiting) out for Indian food. The same neighbor had insisted on taking us out last trip, but my Mother somehow hurt her back and wound up in bed for three days. Actually, she preferred being in bed for three days to eating Indian food. Because I am diabolical, I had made my parents eat Indian food one time in Indiana. She still holds a grudge. That may run in the family.
Anyway, in case you're not familiar with vintage Indiana farm cookingness...when Mom made "chili" it had no actual chili powder in it. It had home-canned tomatoes (so very yummy), chunks of hamburger, kidney beans, and...wait for it...macaroni!!! It was some kind of unchililike soup. (We also called green bell peppers "mangoes." I still have no idea why.) Spices? You are allowed to use the teeniest bit of black pepper as a spice, but that's it. Anything over 1/16 teaspoon in a large pot and you'll hear about it! (I've since started taking her to Penzey's. For once my foolish optimism has paid off.) So Mom was all "Hell-to-the-No!" on the Indian food.
Oi...this is where I always get sidetracked. What am I supposed to say? My parents are good people. Oh, but their intolerant streak drives me *&^%ing insane.
See, Mom had really pissed me off at the art museum last week. I'll just say she had a tantrum of intolerance. Nice. So anyway, it made me crazy, but then mid-fuming it occurs to me in a somewhat comedysketchesque fashion...you know, I can keep this in mind when I'm picking out your nursing home someday. Imagine a battle of wills with a toddler...but my mother. Me: "By God you WILL stop being intolerant someday!" Yeah, OK, so it's not that funny, but it may have kept my head from exploding. I've learned to appreciate the little moments of perverse joy that keep my head from going kaboom. So yeah, I came to think of Mom going out to dinner as her 'time out' for bad behavior. And I did appreciate knowing that Mom was dreading going out for dinner. I knew she'd have fun, and she did. Still, it was nice to know she was not happy about it for the days leading up to it.
Ah yes, perverse joy. I believe @leewaters brought that up first in regard to declining follow requests on Twitter. I said something about me finding perverse joy in tricking people into doing something good.
Again with the parents. I've tried writing about this before...but it never works out. I'll just say that this dates back to something that happened last year. I'm still beyond pissed at them. At some point this winter I went all "By God you will do something good whether you want to (or even realize it) or not!" I had already been volunteering at a place for a while when it occurred to me...you know, they would *really* hate this place (what with being intolerant #&^s and all). So every time they're in town, I make sure to enlist their help for the cause. Among other things, I've had them extend their travel plans more than once so they can keep the kids while I go to a project they wouldn't actually approve of. (I'm pathologically vague. It's quite a gift. They don't actually realize where I'm going.) So even in their inability to be decent...they're promoting goodness in the world. And my head is intact. That all points to WIN, right?
Shhh, don't say anything. Don't ruin my diabolical plot to turn intolerant #%&^s into helperbots for good. :-D (Yes, I have an expansion plan.) That, and who's going to clean up the mess if my head explodes?
Anyway, in case you're not familiar with vintage Indiana farm cookingness...when Mom made "chili" it had no actual chili powder in it. It had home-canned tomatoes (so very yummy), chunks of hamburger, kidney beans, and...wait for it...macaroni!!! It was some kind of unchililike soup. (We also called green bell peppers "mangoes." I still have no idea why.) Spices? You are allowed to use the teeniest bit of black pepper as a spice, but that's it. Anything over 1/16 teaspoon in a large pot and you'll hear about it! (I've since started taking her to Penzey's. For once my foolish optimism has paid off.) So Mom was all "Hell-to-the-No!" on the Indian food.
Oi...this is where I always get sidetracked. What am I supposed to say? My parents are good people. Oh, but their intolerant streak drives me *&^%ing insane.
See, Mom had really pissed me off at the art museum last week. I'll just say she had a tantrum of intolerance. Nice. So anyway, it made me crazy, but then mid-fuming it occurs to me in a somewhat comedysketchesque fashion...you know, I can keep this in mind when I'm picking out your nursing home someday. Imagine a battle of wills with a toddler...but my mother. Me: "By God you WILL stop being intolerant someday!" Yeah, OK, so it's not that funny, but it may have kept my head from exploding. I've learned to appreciate the little moments of perverse joy that keep my head from going kaboom. So yeah, I came to think of Mom going out to dinner as her 'time out' for bad behavior. And I did appreciate knowing that Mom was dreading going out for dinner. I knew she'd have fun, and she did. Still, it was nice to know she was not happy about it for the days leading up to it.
Ah yes, perverse joy. I believe @leewaters brought that up first in regard to declining follow requests on Twitter. I said something about me finding perverse joy in tricking people into doing something good.
Again with the parents. I've tried writing about this before...but it never works out. I'll just say that this dates back to something that happened last year. I'm still beyond pissed at them. At some point this winter I went all "By God you will do something good whether you want to (or even realize it) or not!" I had already been volunteering at a place for a while when it occurred to me...you know, they would *really* hate this place (what with being intolerant #&^s and all). So every time they're in town, I make sure to enlist their help for the cause. Among other things, I've had them extend their travel plans more than once so they can keep the kids while I go to a project they wouldn't actually approve of. (I'm pathologically vague. It's quite a gift. They don't actually realize where I'm going.) So even in their inability to be decent...they're promoting goodness in the world. And my head is intact. That all points to WIN, right?
Shhh, don't say anything. Don't ruin my diabolical plot to turn intolerant #%&^s into helperbots for good. :-D (Yes, I have an expansion plan.) That, and who's going to clean up the mess if my head explodes?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Abecedarian on Love and Letters
A poem of only twenty lines?
Bam! There goes my abecedarian.
Can't you have some pity on the verbose?
Do unto others? Does that ring a bell?
Eventually justice will prevail. All deserve the chance to pursue the
full measure of their happiness – in words and in love.
Guess I'd better decide which letters to exclude.
How will poor Q feel? I bet he'll see it coming, “This is dodge ball all over again.”
Isn't there some way we can all get along?
Just think how you would feel to be officially excluded.
Kindness needs to come back into style. Hatred is so last century.
Love and letters are all around us – wanted or not. I am
married to this idea of equality! Gee-whiz!
Now is the time! What happens if you become an “other” someday?
Once they burned the “others,” then the books. Let's get out of this fundamentally-flawed box.
Pressure is mounting. This is due tomorrow.
Quick! Let's look at this in a new way. Wraparound?! Mazel tov!
Right, can't leave anyone out, not even unassuming U.
Somehow, we all need to find a way to fit.
Backstory: I wrote this back in February. I thought it was a little strange that I had turned two poems in the day BEFORE they were due. (You could turn in three poems up to 20 lines each for a library contest.) I should have known I'd wind up writing a third and final one at midnight the night before. I guess procrastination and smartass proved once again to be an irresistible combination for me. So I wrote this in like 35 minutes. (Someone was going through a short-lived double abecedarian phase.) Yeah, I know the formatting in blogspot screwed this up. None of the lines run over in the original. ;-)
I managed to hit equal marriage rights, burning at the stake, book burning, (I also had small pox blankets in there, but had to take it out because the line was too long) and a slam on the line limit all in 20 lines. Plus a little golden rule, playground angst, Mazel tov and a quote from Obama's inauguration address thrown in for fun. As with everything I do, it's okay if you don't particularly like it. I like enough for the both of us. :-D
Btw, if you're going to write an acrostic (and I'm sure you ALL will), make sure you have the freaking alphabet spelled right! And that you number the lines right...although since I don't know if the title is included in the limit, the inadvertent 19 turned out to be a good CYA, er, C-my-A.
Update: Gee, I can't believe the library poetry contest committee didn't go for this! (or the other two on Twitter and Brain Freeze.)
Monday, April 6, 2009
Vermonters on my mind
So tonight, I'm thinking about those other Vermonters who went against the wishes of their constituents. (You know, as opposed to the current veto-threatening governor so many would like to clock.) Of course it took some digging in my brain and on Google to get here. All I could remember was I had heard a story on NPR sometime during my 10+ years in Texas. It was about a Vermont teacher who voted for same sex unions even though he knew his constituents would kill him (well, not Texas-kill him, just you know, never vote for him. Again. Ever.) But he said he couldn't imagine facing his classroom full of kids and saying what? I could have done the right thing, but wanted to keep my job?
So anyway, here are some links to actual details.
http://www.nytimes.com/2000/04/20/us/vermont-senate-votes-for-gay-civil-unions.html
(article with State Senator Mark A. MacDonald who was the guy I vaguely remembered 9!?! years later.)
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/law/gay_marriage/vermont.html
[At least read until you get to William Lippert. Makes me wanna clock the current governor upside the head with Rep. Allard ;-) ]
http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=100675
"Heroes of the Green Mountain State"
Anyway, just thought I'd take a stroll down memory lane (even if parts of it were for the first time). It's important to look back, even while you're looking forward, remembering those who made a difference then, even while you're looking to the ones you hope will make a difference now. [And yeah, maybe look now and then at the person standing in between the two, :-)] So here is hoping the legislators who voted against the marriage bill will make good on their promise to vote to override Douglas' veto out of principle.
Last Sunday at Church we sang "Standing on the Side of Love" in tribute to Iowa. I sure am hoping next Sunday we'll be singing to Vermont. :-)
So anyway, here are some links to actual details.
http://www.nytimes.com/2000/04/20/us/vermont-senate-votes-for-gay-civil-unions.html
(article with State Senator Mark A. MacDonald who was the guy I vaguely remembered 9!?! years later.)
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/law/gay_marriage/vermont.html
[At least read until you get to William Lippert. Makes me wanna clock the current governor upside the head with Rep. Allard ;-) ]
http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=100675
"Heroes of the Green Mountain State"
Anyway, just thought I'd take a stroll down memory lane (even if parts of it were for the first time). It's important to look back, even while you're looking forward, remembering those who made a difference then, even while you're looking to the ones you hope will make a difference now. [And yeah, maybe look now and then at the person standing in between the two, :-)] So here is hoping the legislators who voted against the marriage bill will make good on their promise to vote to override Douglas' veto out of principle.
Last Sunday at Church we sang "Standing on the Side of Love" in tribute to Iowa. I sure am hoping next Sunday we'll be singing to Vermont. :-)
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